move on

for me, it isn't over. no, i won't move on. no, i won't let go. no, i won't forget.
you promised me you wouldn't leave, but you did. i tried so hard to hold you back. i try and i try and i try, but i'm afraid to try again. something deep down inside of me knew this would happen, but i was in denial, i still am. how could you? how could you forget everything and just leave? all these memories that are now scattered on the floor. all these beautiful painful memories don't mean a thing to you anymore, do they?
i am not whole anymore. i am torn up. my other half is no where to be seen. where did you go? why did you do this to me? who do you think you are? why did you do this to us? to all of us? you did this for him? yeah? i know.
a million unanswered questions, or are they answered? denial.
i want to try talking to you, but i can't. i don't want to get hurt. i've been hurt millions of times for you, because of you, by you. i can't go through that again, for you. you: the one who left me begging, kicking & screaming, crying all these salty tears, for who? for him.
shocked, thats what i was. i think i was until i realized just how angry i was- still am, with you. what you did was unfair. i need to recover, i need to recollect myself. i need to et back on my feet, off the cold marble floor i've been on for the past 10 months. i need to wipe away my salty tears, wash my face from this darkness and start living the life i want, the life i need. a life without you. my best friend, gone. and for who?

i'm sure your happy now, after all, it was your idea. you found a boy who you loved more. more than me, more than yourself. how sad.
i'm sure, since it's our decision and your a grown woman, you wont crumble to your knees whispering when you leave your man that you'll stand by me, i won't stand by you.
i was yours. not anymore. i'm a big girl, a big girl without her best friend. but no, no i won't shed another tear for you, though i am now. i'll find someone like you.

i'm letting go of everything
congrats, i heard.
i love you, always did & always will. too bad i won't be a part of it.
never mind my tears. don't forget me beautiful and don't forget my face.
my final goodbye.
goodbye...